Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
