i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
