whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
