Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
thus making me awesome and them whores
are you so shy because you have an std?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
