I cannot find my penis.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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