I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
