I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
