Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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