I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
