I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
