Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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