I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize