I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
