I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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