I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i dont even know how to be here
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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