where am i from again
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
