Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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