mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize