So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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