I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
