Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
