I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
