She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
