i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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