Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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