i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
