I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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