Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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