No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
