I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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