Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
