your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
