there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
