also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this boner is exhausting
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
