she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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