and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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