Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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