I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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