using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we should paint friendship bongs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
