My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
