Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize