you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
