I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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