Don't you send me to vm
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
