She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
