Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
