At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
