I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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