I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
