we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
