as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
