Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
