shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
