She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My vagina is officially offended.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize