I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
