how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
