I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hippo gnu deer
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
