Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i think my cat just said my name.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
