it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
NoShamevember. You game?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
