I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I just put wine in my tea
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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