I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
third nipple confirmed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
