my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
