Define "chronic" masturbator.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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