I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize