i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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