the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
