I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize